The Independent Uganda: You get the Truth we Pay the Price
COMMENT | CONSTANCE KICONCO | From the Student: “I keep things to myself. My friend was struggling with school pressure. He told the school counsellor that he felt like ending his life because no one seemed to understand him. Instead of helping, the counsellor reported him to the administrators.
He was called out of class, beaten, and suspended. We are in Senior Six. He missed so many lessons and it was hard for him to catch up.
That’s why I can’t speak out. I can’t even tell the nurse that there is nothing wrong with my stomach. Sometimes, I pretend to be sick just to go home or lie down in the sickbay and get some peace.
But I wonder, how long will I keep pretending to be sick just because physical pain is easier for people to believe?
I am not weak. I came to this school with good grades. But now, everything is falling apart. My performance is dropping so badly. I’m tired. I just want someone to listen without judging me.”
*****
This student didn’t come to me because they were looking for attention. They came because they had run out of options. Sadly, their story is not unusual.
Today, many children and teenagers are under silent pressure. They feel unsafe speaking up about their mental health — not because they don’t want help, but because they’ve seen what happens when others do.
The people who are supposed to be safe — counsellors, nurses, teachers, and even parents — are often the ones who respond with punishment or shame instead of understanding.
When children feel overwhelmed, they sometimes pretend to be physically sick because emotional pain is not taken seriously.
What Is Going Wrong?
– Students who open up are punished instead of being helped.
– Confidentiality is broken by the very people they trust
– Emotional pain is ignored, but physical symptoms are believed
– Grades are valued more than the children earning them.
What Can We Do Differently?
1. Make counsellors and nurses safe again. Train school counsellors and nurses to keep confidence and respond with care, not discipline. Their role is to listen and help, not report.
2. Watch behaviour and performance. A drop in grades or repeated visits to the sickbay is often a silent cry for help. Don’t dismiss it or label it as laziness.
3. End punishment for emotional struggles. No child should be beaten or suspended for saying they are overwhelmed.
4. Bring parents into the conversation. Talk to parents about signs of stress, burnout, anxiety, and fear. Help them understand that silence at home may mean pain, not disrespect.
6. Put mental health into school culture. Just like we teach, examine and discipline, we must also teach coping, emotional intelligence, and how to ask for help.
Parents, teachers, administrators, and all those in authority. If a child would rather lie about stomach pain than say they are stressed, we have to ask ourselves: What kind of environment have we created?
Let’s build homes and schools where students don’t need to hide behind fake illnesses to get rest, peace, or compassion.
Let’s be the kind of adults a child can run to, not run from.
*****
Kiconco Constance aka. Connie is a dedicated Child and Adolescent Mental Health Therapist with certifications in: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Child Psychology, Addiction and Substance Abuse Treatment, and Suicide and Violent Behaviour Studies. She has hands-on experience at Mulago Adolescent Clinic, Mulago and Nsambya Hospital T1D clinics, where she provides psychosocial support and counseling to young people facing a range of mental health challenges. Her work is grounded in empathy, structured care, and a passion for emotional wellness and community transformation.
